Almost Half Way There

2013 has been a very strange year for me. I did not start running again until April of this year. I spent April and May jogging and doing core work. 4 mile runs at 10 minutes per mile just to get my body back into dealing with the stress of running. I spent the next couple of months losing the 10 extra pounds that I gained wallowing around all winter with a feed bag attached to my head. As July came my legs started to feel like being a runner again and the 7:30 miles started to comfortably come from me again. August came and went. I spent the month just head down running through the hot and humid days and night. September, Now September always surprises me like a bi polar girl friend. The first crisp and cool days of September come and my body wants to go fast. Mile repeats start at sub 5k pace for the first time all year, 400 meter sprints feel effortless and then... You have an awful shitty run and you lose all confidence in your training. I should be aware of this cycle by now, but even though I know that this is what motivates me to work harder, I still crash hard every single time I string together a couple of bad days. Am I ready? Exactly one month from now I will run my first race since my Chicago marathon debacle. I have spent many months doing physical therapy, and slowly, carefully, and methodically I have been getting myself back into shape. I am still not 100% injury free, and I'm about 2 months, 5 long runs and 8 track work outs away from being back in half way decent shape. My mind has played tricks on me since last October and I seriously have contemplated calling it quits after this year buying a new mountain bike and just letting go of these insane ideas of being a runner. The funny thing about this is that no matter what I do, and how damaged and broken I feel I can not let go. Last Wednesday night I did a mile time trial on the track at the end of a 1600/800/400/400 meter workout and started to feel the snappiness that fills my soul with hope. I have good days and I have bad days. Last night after 7 long, tight and crooked miles I wanted to light my shoes on fire and just give up. Tonight, I am sure I will feel the same, but I am willing to push through. Is it all about just pushing through the low points? We will find out soon.